The Case For Robot Mimes

Give welcome to my special guest blogger, Big Ol’ Jer! 

I have been thinking. That’s a problem. Most of the time, thinking gets me into trouble. This time, however, I think I have an idea whose time has come.  Two words: Robot Mimes.  Now, I know this may sound off the wall at first, but let me explain.  I really see a need for robot mimes in society.

First, consider the value of a robot mime.  You would be able to shut it off any time you wanted.  How many times have you heard of mimes annoying people?  You all know the story: someone is walking through a park, or down a street.  Along comes a mime.  The mime starts mimicking the person.  The mime gets in the person’s way.  The person gradually becomes more and more frustrated as he tries to go about his business. This situation quickly deteriorates into frustration on both sides. 

With a robot mime, the person could simply touch a button and shut down the robot at the first sign of frustration.  If you try to turn off a mime under the current system, everyone gets upset.  Even if you’re unsuccessful, the court still calls it attempted murder.  Think of that–avoiding the hassle and anger through a simple button.  This would be a vast improvement.

Another reason to create robot mimes is the good will it would create for the high tech industry.  For years people have complained about having their jobs taken over by machines.  If robots take over the miming industry, everyone will be happy.  Except the mimes, of course.  If that bothers you, ask yourself this: “Do I really care what a mime thinks?  After all, if a man wants to paint his face and pretend he’s in a box, is his opinion really important?”  The public will be overjoyed by mimes they can shut down. It will be amazing.  There is sure to be a 705 % increase in the popularity of the company that begins this campaign.  Citizens would carry on conversations like this:

“Gosh, Tony, I know Swindler Inc dumped reactor cores in Lake Tahoe, but they gave us Robot Mimes we can turn off.”

“You’re right, Sam. I guess the state can dredge the lake.”

A decrease in unemployment figures would also result from a robot mimes industry.  Someone would have to polish and shine them.  Even the most unemployable freak from the insane asylum can shine a robot mime.  Then there would have to be field supervisors to watch the freaks work, to make sure they were doing their jobs.  The supervisors would also make sure they were only doing their jobs and not something illegal.  All the homeless who are now standing on on-ramps begging could shine mimes.  The increase in taxes and revenue from these mimeshiners and mimeshiner bosses would be a boost to the economy. 

I think you can begin to see the advantages of robot mimery. If you have any questions or comments about Robot Mimes, please fill in the box below.    

p.s. Thank you, Big Ol’ Jer, for bringing this important idea to the forefront. I will not be blogging later this week due to scheduling conflicts. If I don’t see you before Wednesday, I’ll see you next week, same time, same place!



  1. Oh, trust me, Big Ol' Jer probably has put robot mimes in his books. He's outrageously funny. 🙂

  2. I just heard on the radio today that the Zombie apocalypse was just a front for the real robot apocalypse. =) This fits right in!

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