You Will Quickly Recognize…

…the absurdity of this post. You will recognize that the author is using it as a place holder because her brain is foggy with a strange sort of August sickness brought on by either chem-trails or alien experimentation.

“If you view the world as systems of three and find yourself doodling triangles, it’s likely you’ve been abducted by aliens at some point in your life.”–Anonymous saying found in bus station bathroom

“It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.”–Douglas Adams from The Life, the Universe, and Everything

“But if you have three potatoes, couldn’t you halve them, sprout them, till the soil, and plant all six? When the beautiful little shoots push upward toward the glorious light of the sun, wouldn’t you know then that hope still resides in the flesh of tubers? Where is your hope?”–Jack Darling, self-help author and exercise guru

“If I had a hammer, I’d pound it in the morning. I’d pound out love between my brothers and my sisters, all over this land. If I had a bell, I’d ring out a warning–don’t oversleep! I’d ding it in the evening during your sea turtle documentary, and on the hour all through the night. If I had a tater, I’d eat it in the morning, I’d weep for your hunger in the evening, and plant more potatoes for stoutness between my brothers and my sisters, all over this land.”–not written by Pete Seeger

“A land without potatoes is a land without love.”–St. Brigid of Kildare

“What’s taters, Precious? What’s taters, eh?” “…Spoiling nice fish. Give it to us raw and wriggling. You keep nasty chips.”–Gollum

“Poke the eyes from the potatoes–you don’t want a bitter stew–and add a pluck of parsley for personal growth. For abundance, add a pat of the best butter. Simmer with fresh cream to purify the system. Give a healthy dose to the neighbor boy with the snotty nose, and a requisite amount to the homeless man living in your woodshed.”–from the Solving Universal Problems Through Food cookbook.

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