Joy Amongst Absurdities

It’s time for a little diversion. I didn’t expect to feel this distressed or depressed over the election. I expected that once it was over, we would all move on and stop lying in the name of campaign slogans about what a moral, upstanding citizen Obama is–or about how everything would be just enough of an iota better under Romney to halt the direction this country’s headed. [I don’t know how one can have part of an iota, however–maybe the tail erased? Let it not be said that I don’t know how to use metaphor.] But something inside me cracked. Something cracked at the level of stupidity and/or foolishness people will drop to in times of political manipulation. The people will be manipulated, even the intelligent ones. IQ is meaningless when it comes to this kind stupidity.

I already knew this. I’ve known this for a long time. Why, then, did it push me over the edge of sanity this time around? Perhaps it was the final time I read that somebody voted for Obama in order to rescue Big Bird. Or maybe it was the umpteenth time I read about women calling themselves vaginas and only voting for their own perceived needs, and then realizing that, somehow, the president has all these little vaginas wrapped around….oh, never mind. I didn’t start the metaphor, but I’m sure as hell not going to fall to their level and finish it off.

So, as I said, it’s time for a little diversion. The satire I write makes me feel all warm and glowing inside, but doesn’t seem to float anyone else’s boat [see my previous post and all posts similar to it–no comments at all and almost no reads on my satire!] I feel like such a loser, mostly because I consider myself to be more than a vagina and because I didn’t vote for all the cool free stuff I think the president’s going to give me [I don’t know why not–everybody else is doing it!]. It’s easy to forget all the horrendous things our leaders are doing in our name when they’re stroking our….never mind.

Instead, I’ll make a list of my favorite blogs. I hope you’re not uncomfortable with making it on this list after I almost strung out some crude metaphors. If so, I sincerely apologize and will remove your link at your request:

Jay Dinitto’s because he’s quirky and metaphysical, and I loved his book of short fiction.

Jessica Thomas’ because she has an orderly mind and, even when she posts poetry about her years of mental turmoil, she still brings a breath of fresh air to the madness.

Katherine Coble’s because I just adore Katherine Coble’s mind. I’m sort of a crazed internet fan.

Mike Duran’s because he’s apt at pushing buttons and, beneath it all, he’s a kind and helpful person.

C.L. Dyck’s because when she writes topical articles she always dives into a very in-depth analysis. I can only imagine that she must be exhausted after writing them.

My dad’s because he writes contemplative and odd words to match his eccentric artwork. He just doesn’t post often enough to save me from my sorry mental state!

There you have it–spots of joy that are blessings and distractions. Thanks to all the authors of the above blogs for helping to mend my cracked brain. Oh, and about manipulation from the media–I was ogling some techno ad yesterday, and my 14-year-old asked me if I was being swayed by a commercial. I told her “no!” I was swayed by the cool idea, I explained, which fit so nicely with the cool clicking sound effects in the ad. Yeah, I get it. I’m not fooling anyone, am I? But at least I don’t call myself a vagina ever [I almost completed the metaphor by calling you a d_____ b__ for the crime of not being fooled by my rhetoric].



  1. If males are stupid enough to follow certain feminists’ example, will we have to endure a “Million P€nis March” on Washington to demand our free Viagra?

    Who would dare to deny us that which is our right?

    I will certainly hang my head in shame on the day when this happens.

    1. Fortunately for you, it won’t happen. You see, women are the sexual losers. They’re the victims, and I mean that both sardonically and realistically. Men just have all the fun, and that’s what Viagra is about (purportedly). Remember, you don’t have rights unless you’re a victim. So shut up about penises, already. And if it’s really worth crying about, then the men doing the crying probably just need a dose of antibiotics.

  2. Men demand to be accorded full victim status, since that is obviously the only way to obtain any “rights” in this upside-down system!

    After all, there are more females than males, making us the *true* minority, and we die off sooner, proving that we need access to special health services.

    So put that in your pipe and smoke it, you chauvinist!

    1. See how you are? You can’t even take it, always claiming that women don’t make sense because they are so *emotional*. My logic is impeccable.

  3. Males are also falling behind their female counterparts in academic settings, proving an extreme ‘bias curve’. This must be rectified with targeted governmental programs.

    We’re not stoopid, we just learn differently!

    1. …..except in all those pesky maths and sciences that allow you to continue your male dominion in every society everywhere (that is, aside from the male dominion caused by your brute strength, great haircuts, fake tans, and snazzy suit-n-tie combos). Nope, I’m not buying it.

  4. Your comments belong in the last century!! Bigoted opinions like this make me think that there is no hope for hu-MAN-ity!

  5. You made me laugh out loud with this. And I feel honored to have made your list. Thank you so much for the mention. 🙂

    Lastly, I enjoy your blog and your writing, do not be discouraged! I’ve been following, but have not had as much time to comment because I’m working feverishly on yet *another* edit of my novel. (Or I was, then I wore myself out so I stopped, and now I can’t remember why I was so obsessed about it in the first place and I’d rather not work on it at all, but that’s pretty typical.)

    1. I just get discouraged with life and that nobody likes my satire, which brings me so much wanton happiness. 🙂 Will you self-publish when you’re done with your edits, or continue to pitch to trad. pub.?

      1. I have some interest from an independent publisher. “I like it, but…” At the moment I am battling self-defeating behavior…like, not wanting to work on it at all. That feeling of, it’s never going to be “good” enough so scr3w it. I need to get over that… 🙁

        1. Interest, even with a “but” is more than most of us have gotten. I’ll defeat my “never good enough” if you do. I’m going to self-pub, too, so I’m not even going to have a professional editor. I can’t afford one, not when my children need clothes. 🙂

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