Delusions of Grandeur….

….really put a skip in a girl’s step. I won’t put too fine a point on it, but, actually, I will. Newton was born the year Galileo died. I was born the year Tolkien died. I’m one of those intellectual types who can detect patterns where there are no patterns to find. I have, in essence, A Beautiful Mind. Do you see the pattern?

The truth is my writing is so far removed from a Tolkienesque reality that it’s like a Meyers to a Bradbury, and my only resemblance to the man is in my need to perpetually edit. I’ve already stated as much on my bio page, and it bears repeating. I can’t stop editing. I have a serious problem. I finished Anna and the Dragon. I set up a CreateSpace account. I have an ISBN. But because my cover art isn’t yet finished, I’ve started editing again. It’s like a sick kind of fixation with me. And the more I edit, the more the work seems like an avalanche. I edit in more errors that factually effect 2/3 of the rest of the book.

Now that I’ve knocked down what little faith you had in my abilities, I hope to have the final version up next week. It comes as a relief to me that writer ≠ career for me these days. I’ve been having dreams of murderous men who seek to kidnap and then stab me. Thankfully, I’m rescued every time by musicians of varying sorts (singers, songwriters, guitar players), which allows me time to dig up heavy machinery and fight back while seated on backhoes or bulldozers. I find these dreams to be highly symbolic, and I detect subtle patterns woven in that may or may not actually exist. I’ve often woken up wondering why the musicians didn’t start in on renditions of Where Have All the Flowers Gone or One Tin Soldier Rides Away as I victoriously excavated and then bulldozed my enemies.

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9 comments

  1. I’ve been having crazy weird nightmares since getting done my project as well. There was the one with the vampire dragons, and then the one where I had to jump into a murky marina that had sharks lurking under the docks, and the only way to get across to the dock where I was supposed to be was to risk the sharks, and everyone told me it would be totally fine, just do it already…welcome to the traditional publishing environment, indeed.

    No musicians ever come to rescue me, so I had to hire some. Got myself some Yo-Yo Ma baroque and a Chilly Gonzales piano album to soothe the frayed psyche. And I’m leaving the internet the heck alone for a bit, doing some non-interactive time-wasting instead. That’s helping.

    I should be very glad to beta read for you, but I don’t think I fit into your timetable. I have an editing client deadline next week.

    1. Sharks, huh? That sounds like an intense dream symbol. I’d love for you to beta read my next book if I ever get it in a cohesive whole. Meanwhile, maybe you’d like a reviewer’s copy??

      1. Actually, I intend to buy your book. 🙂

        Yeah, the sharks were the last straw for me. Time for some pretty cello songs and a drastic psychological adjustment.

        1. Yes, Yo-Yo Ma for you. In one of my books that needs editing, I have a mute character who learns to play the violin. She appreciates Yo-Yo Ma because his instrument almost sounds like a human voice at times.

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