Jill’s Guide to Fascism 101

This is from the section on group dynamics: Choosing a team is very important to human creatures. It gives a sense of belonging, as well as healthy competition. It gives a necessary distraction from the evils of the world. It creates necessary rivalries against the opposing teams, which subsequently take over mental faculties such that those involved in the rivalries can see nothing else. They suffer from tunnel vision and one-track-mind-itis.

You can imagine that this dynamic of team-playing is exploitable by those who understand the simple concept of divide and conquer. Use the press to start a controversy and voila! watch the public choose sides and waste their precious energies arguing about it. Then do something underhanded when everybody’s busy fighting, something that will seize power on a grand scale from all parties involved. If the light of awareness dawns on the public, start another rivalry–easy peasy!

If you are a budding fascist, get creative. People can be divided politically–republicans vs democrats, for example. If a new movement begins to unite people of varying political ideologies–the Tea Party and Occupy are just two recent American movements–neutralize them by forcing them on one side of the spectrum or the other. The Tea Party can be forced into the White Racist Republicans, and Occupy will conveniently fit with Fascist Liberal Democrats. Phew. Disaster averted.

Political parties aren’t working for you? Ah, well, don’t be shy about dividing people on racial, gender, and religious lines. Are the Christians getting a little too cozy with one another? Quick! Start a homosexual rivalry! They’ll be casting aspersions on each other for months, if not years. Of course, there are layers of domination. If your goal is to dominate the world, do so through Christian charities. After all, Christian people want to save the children of the world, as well as eradicate poverty. You can use their monies to further the imperialist agenda of sterilizing/birth-controlling the populations of undesirable third-world countries. Just in case anybody’s waking up to the imperialist agenda of charities, use the rivalry you’ve already started on homosexuality and voila!. One side will threaten to remove necessary funds from starving African children, and the other side will cry Hate! Hate! They hate homosexuals and starving African babies! Now would be a good time to recommend other appropriate charity organizations. Don’t go too far, though. Recommending the Bill Gates Foundation right away might be a little too telling. You don’t want to tip your hand too soon.

Really, the sky’s the limit when it comes to fascism. Well, actually, you don’t have to be limited by the sky at all, but I wouldn’t want to divulge every fascist secret! When you understand group dynamics, though, you’ll realize just how easy this game is. If you happen to be a capitalist as well as a fascist, I would suggest selling really expensive beer, hotdogs, and nachos for the showdowns you start. What could be better than profiting off your own petty little wars?

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