Ted Talk Tedium

There I was finishing up a Nick Cole video I’d meant to listen to months ago (on marketing), when YouTube spins up a Ted Talk featuring a woman who doesn’t want to have kids. Talk about important stuff. Deep. Penetrating. Philosophical. There was no other context given, why this young woman is important to the human race in any way. I found myself listening to her, fascinated that she was a public speaker. I read some of the comments people had posted, but apparently no other sane person was bothering to respond. Maybe I’m not sane. Good likelihood. But moving on from self analysis, I was disheartened to read how many people (women, mostly) not only hate children, but they are proud to declare it. It’s as if they think they’re declaring something profoundly unique.

I will admit they aren’t operating off the default standard of societies for millenia, but profound or unique they are not because the default condition for humanity is utter selfishness. And I’m not talking about a pure survival instinct kind of selfishness; having children is part of the base human survival instinct. I’m talking about the kind of empathy-less selfishness that parents attempt to train their kids out of so they will grow up to be fulfiled and healthy adults who will desire to do what’s right and leave a legacy behind them — be part of the chain connecting us to our ancestors — rather than a pseudo intellectual whiner with a voice wobbling from emotion, who has to get up on a stage to convince others that she matters.

And she does matter. Human beings do, even adult ones who haven’t grown up. But what is particularly galling is her inability to just live her life with all the freedoms she’s been given in our modern society. Instead, she wants the world’s approval for her own indeoendent decisions. Or God’s approval. Or her parents’ approval. Or…I don’t know whose. And she wants to force doctors, who are mostly private practitioners, to sterilize her, even if, as normal humans, they don’t want to. Because she’s young…and they’re trying to protect her from doing permanent damage to a youthful body. And although she tries to paint this as the patriarchy, I would hope both male and female doctors would be cautious about performing permanent unnecessary surgeries on young men, too.

I have to admit the video dampened my mood after listening to Nick Cole. Our society has swung to an anti-life extreme, and this video is just part of our collective sickness and self-hatred. There really is no other way to explain why else this woman would have an audience at all, let alone one who applauds her. She might get kudos from a degenerate world now, but she will never get to hold her grandchildren in her arms. As lonely as that sounds, I’m not trying to be cruel. There are women out there who can’t have children and want them terribly, who also will never hold their own grandchildren. I think it’s a reminder to always be thankful for what God has blessed me with, children as well as ahem sanity — and parents who taught me it wasn’t all about me.



  1. I’m a very bad Christian, because I hear people like this and my answer is, “Yes, PLEASE sterilize yourself. Any child born to you is destined to suffer because you’d likely make a terrible parent. The fewer children of people like you my children have to deal with, the better my children’s future will be.”

    I know that’s awful. But I can’t help it.

    1. I had that thought, too. Childbirth changes women, though. Granted, it doesn’t always change them for the better as there are really bad mothers out there. But for most women, it’s a profoundly positive experience to go through. There is nothing like holding your infant child in your arms after so much pain and torture for 9 mths. It’s a soul thing that can’t be found in anything else.

  2. Who is Nick Cole? His name seems familiar. I don’t want to Google him.

    Maybe the reluctance of doctors to sterilize youngins has to do with litigious minefields…as in, a sterilized lady could reassign regret to it later on and hold the doctor accountable. Maybe a gray area in the law, and some people would sue for ANYTHING not bolted down. People would sue Mother Nature for a bird looking at them the wrong way.

    1. True about litigation.

      Nick Cole has written a bunch of books. They’re a lot of fun. But he also figured out how to use Amazon’s algorithms to boost his sales, and he’s happy to tell others about it. The only thing is he already had a large audience before figuring these things out.

      1. I relented and looked him up. A few of his books are on my list, hence the recognition.

        As you said, most advice from pros presumes access to things that most of us don’t have. This is true no matter what the industry, but some more than others. Or sometimes it’s based on their luck and has nothing to do with what they actually did. It’s like a lottery winner telling everyone else to play the same numbers he did.

        1. He wasn’t lucky, but he did start out traditionally published, solid midlist, I think. Then his publisher canceled the next book they were going to publish because it had an anti abortion moment in the first few pages. This gave him an instant conservative SF audience. He still figured out how to use Amazon algorithms to his benefit, and it would be beneficial for any indie to pay attention because who you sell to matters more than just sales. But if you have almost no audience at all, being signal-boosted by the right one isn’t your biggest problem.

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