This was Sunday’s post, and it really is incomplete, needing more quotes. I had to get ready to go to church, though. And then I did nothing when I arrived back home. I have my life stacked in such a way that it’s difficult to take a day off. So I took the entire weekend off. Burnout is real, but taking days off is not always feasible. Saturday a week ago, eg, I wanted to take a long walk and watch old movies, but the washing machine broke, and I had to fix it because nobody wants to go to the laundromat on Sunday night out of desperation at the escalating mounds of bedding and clothes.* It was an easy fix, but it took time, including running around for little parts and pieces. The next day, I had to do my baking: gluten-free bread and cookies because I don’t like what’s available in stores.** That’s a personal obsession, I guess. So this last weekend, I really did lie on the couch watching movies. We also went to see Glass. I’ll review it later. I did no baking and no writing. I bought pudding snacks and gf pretzels from Walmart. Who am I?!
Now I’m behind. However, this leads right to one of my favorite Bible verses:
“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.”
This is the first verse of Psalm 127; it used to be this blog’s motto. It still is, to be honest, even though it’s no longer written across the top. The psalm is one of Solomon’s, and the complete psalm hits my life struggles: my lifelong chronic insomnia (for he gives to his beloved sleep — I truly want to believe in this); raising my children for almost a twenty-four year stretch (behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward — they are already a reward, but the struggle isn’t over.)
Solomon is the biblical writer who resonates with me most. In fact, I avoid Ecclesiastes because of this. It often depresses me, which is hard to admit. Yes, it is a possibility for the word of God to create this kind of reaction. The books of the Bible were written by real people with personalities, and if God was indeed working through them, our spirits should react. Joy and peace are only two possible emotions among a spectrum, even though they are the pleasantest. Christians sometimes forget that.
But going back to the original quote, my life is one of construction rather than destruction (thankfully). While there have been times when we built actual houses, I look at the verse figuratively. My freelancing will go nowhere unless God builds the house. I will toil in vain. More important to me, obviously, is my writing career. This has been a long, slow build with little payoff. Over twenty year’s worth. And yet, I still believe my efforts won’t be for nothing if God is the boss, the ultimate builder, my hardhat and my help.
As I work to get caught up, I’m going to hold this verse in my heart. If God wants this book to come to something, it will. I’ve written approximately ten book now. They might have served as scaffolding or foundations. Plumbing? Electricity? How far can I take this metaphor? But they obviously weren’t complete houses in and of themselves. Most aren’t even published because I was still trying to go the traditional route. Those that are? Maybe they’re the decorations on the otherwise blank walls.
I’ll leave this quote by itself.
*When a woman has a husband who works a lot, she learns to fix things.
**We have allergies. GF is not a life fad, even if my quest for better ingredients is.