Every year, I get enraged by daylight savings time, but this year I’m especially done with it. Maybe it’s the year of screwy shutdowns. Maybe I’ve reached my level of madness, where I can no longer be patient with others. Maybe, maybe, maybe…I just don’t want my life screwed with any longer.
It’s maddening that I have to explain the concept of the sun to anyone. Isn’t is right up there in the sky? Hasn’t it been regulating our hours here on earth since the beginning of time? Aren’t our bodies in time with the circadian rhythms it brings us? Yes? Then why, in the name of all that is good and holy, are our mad idiotic politicians trying to keep us in permanent daylight savings time? I get it. There are a boatload of delusional office workers who want to pretend that they work from nine to five and still have plenty of hours of sunlight left after work to play and spend money. But why can’t these nutjobs just work from eight to four, which is what they are actually doing, and spare the rest of from pandering to their lunacy?
Obviously, the counterpoint to their fun-in-the-sun selfishness is the little children walking to school or standing at busstops in the dead of winter in the dark. These people are not only batshit crazy, but they hate children. Are these delusionally selfish office workers really the people that politicians want to pander to?
There is something worse, of course, than hating children, and that is hating God. When you despise the timekeeping method that he gave us, you despise him. And you despise your health. And you despise mankind because you don’t understand what is good for us.
So I plead with these strange creatures like Marco Rubio, and Roswell’s own Sen. Cliff Pirtle, if you can’t allow us to live by God’s own standard time, please let us continue to have it for four months of the year, in which we try to regain our lost health from the stupidity that is daylight savings. I mean, God will no doubt smile on you if you fight to let us live under the sun in peace without the pretence that we can add sunlight to the day. But I get it. You don’t care about people, children, or God. Or sanity.
If you think I’m being extreme, I’m not. Changing the clocks damages health and enrages me with heightened frequency each year. Mostly, I don’t like pandering to the crazy people. I’m tired of it. Oh, and, no, I won’t vote for you ever again. Not for any office. Anyone who is crazy or panders to crazy or who is evil loses my vote.
Okay, I’m done. For now. If we’re into lunatic laws, why don’t we just pass one that calls for mandatory punches in the face every time a politician tries to mess with our lives for the “economy” or our “benefit”? It would definitely be better for our health than pretending eight o’clock is nine o’clock and generally doing what we’re told all the time.
Pirtle, Ruben, et al, be gone demon spawn. Go back to the father of lies you worship, whose home in the pits of hell.
P.s. if you didn’t get it the first time, this voter wants permanent standard time and wants to be left the hell alone by your lot. Thank you.